Layla Subritzky has called Australia home for almost 15 years.

But despite building a life here, the UK-born mum says there’s one thing about Aussie culture she still can’t wrap her head around – the ‘gatekeeping’ of friendship circles where people make it difficult to welcome new members into the social group.

Layla recently explained how different the social scene feels compared to back home in Britain.

‘In the UK, you go on a night out, you meet someone really cool in the toilet, and you invite them to hang out with your friends,’ she said on TikTok.

‘The following weekend you have a barbecue, and suddenly she’s part of the group. Everyone gets along, you have a new friend now, and she’s invited to everything.

‘Well, in Australia, it’s very, very strange. You meet someone you get along with, you’re introduced to their friends, but you never cross over. You never get invited to the whole circle.’

Layla admitted it might be a particularly Queensland or Gold Coast quirk, but quickly added that every English woman she’d met in the last few years said exactly the same thing.

‘That’s why we hang out with each other,’ she laughed.

Layla Subritzky has called Australia home for almost 15 years – but there’s one thing preventing her from truly feeling ‘at home’

They’re supposed to be the most connected generation in history, but young Australians are lonelier than ever before

Her video unleashed a tidal wave of responses from Aussies and expats alike, many admitting they’d experienced the same cold shoulder when trying to break into long-standing circles.

One user summed it up in three words: ‘No cross contamination.’

‘It’s so common to have multiple birthday parties for your different groups,’ another wrote.

‘Work friends, high school friends, uni mates… they never mix. I just want to meet my friend’s friends, is that so hard?’

Others said the cliquey vibe was especially strong in Sydney and Brisbane.

‘If you didn’t go to school here, you’ll always feel on the outside,’ one commenter wrote.

‘Sydney in particular is obsessed with ‘Where did you go to school?’ It’s exhausting.’

Expats said the behaviour was ‘cringe’ and ‘alien.’

Layla recently explained how different the social scene feels compared to back home in Britain

‘You’ll see your friend’s friends at multiple events over the years and they still act like they don’t know you. That never happened when I lived overseas. It’s so weird,’ one woman explained.

Some Aussies admitted it’s a defensive habit.

‘I’m sick to death of introducing friends and then somehow I’m the one left out. So yes, I gatekeep,’ one woman said.

Others confessed it wasn’t malicious, just practical.

‘I only have so much free time, so I stick with the same friends I already know and love,’ one commenter wrote.

‘It’s not that I don’t want new people – they just have to be amazing for me to add them into my calendar.’

Why is it so hard to make friends in Australia?

Several commenters suggested the issue is cultural, even generational.

‘Australia really is just one big country town,’ one person wrote.

‘Our geographical isolation shapes how we form relationships. Friendships are built on shared history – like school or university – rather than shared interests.’

Another said the ‘comfort zone’ mentality was modelled by parents and grandparents.

‘We gravitate toward what we know. That’s why conversations so often start with, ‘Which school did you go to?’ It’s how Aussies find their footing with strangers.’

One user argued that for women, friendship circles often don’t open up until motherhood.

‘Babies are bond-worthy here,’ she wrote.

‘That’s when you see new people finally getting folded into the group. Before that, everyone keeps their circles tight.’

Prof Lim stressed that seeing close friends less than once a month is putting this demographic at risk of persistent loneliness (pictured left TikTokker Fallon Duroy who posted a video about her struggle to make friends in Sydney and right, Heather Grace McGee)

A new report from the University of Sydney led by Associate Professor Michelle Lim (pictured), found that more than 40 per cent of Australians aged 15 to 25 are suffering from loneliness

Young Australians lonelier than ever

Beneath the jokes about ‘no cross contamination,’ the discussion revealed something heavier: how lonely many young people feel in Australia, even those who were born here.

‘It’s hard to make friends in Australia and I was born here,’ one user admitted.

Another confessed, ‘As an Aussie, I share my circles – but they’re not shared with me. It’s very frustrating.’

Layla’s video has since racked up thousands of likes and sparked a nationwide debate, but experts say her frustration isn’t an isolated one.

A University of Sydney study led by Associate Professor Michelle Lim recently found that more than 40 per cent of Australians aged 15 to 25 report struggling with loneliness.

One in four experience it in waves, and one in seven have felt isolated for more than two years.

Unlike older generations, researchers say, young people aren’t necessarily short on social contact.

Instead, they often feel lonely within groups – exactly the kind of dynamic Layla and her followers describe.

Professor Lim called the findings ‘a troubling picture,’ warning that chronic loneliness doesn’t just harm mental health but can spill into physical well-being too.

With so many young people echoing Layla’s words, the call for change is growing louder.

As one commenter summed it up under her video: ‘It’s not you. It’s just Australia. And unless you’ve got a decades-old friendship group already locked in, good luck getting past the gate.’