I’m a parenting expert… here is the major mistake you are making with your kids

Saying sorry is human nature – but can over-apologizing be a bad thing?

Parenting experts have weighed in on whether or not parents should be apologizing to their kids – or if admitting fault too much can be detrimental to their development and how they handle conflict.

Dr. Lauren Hartman, double board-certified in Adolescent Medicine and Pediatrics, told the Daily Mail that sincerely apologizing to children can help ‘restore trust and support healthy emotional development.’

‘The goal is connection and learning, not just conflict resolution,’ she explained.

Dr. Hartman claimed that apologies are one of the ‘most powerful tools’ she’s seen parents utilize – when done right.

‘As parents, we’re navigating each stage of our children’s development for the first time, learning as we go,’ she shared. ‘In this process, we inevitably make mistakes, repeatedly.’

The expert pointed out that saying sorry does make parents feel better, and can also benefit children’s development. 

She said the act of saying sorry – when necessary – can help support teenagers’ psychological needs and reduce their frustration levels.

Parenting experts have weighed in on whether or not parents should be apologizing to their kids (stock image) 

‘When parents model accountability and emotional regulation through sincere apologies, children learn valuable skills for their own relationships and emotional development,’ Dr. Hartman explained.

In terms of what should – and shouldn’t – be apologized for, it’s a balance of maintaining household rules and boundaries, verses if the actions are hurting them. 

‘Parents should apologize for their own mistakes or hurtful actions – such as losing their temper, breaking a promise, or responding harshly when overwhelmed,’ she advised. ‘These situations warrant acknowledgment because they involve the parent’s behavior negatively impacting the child.’

However, there is no use in saying sorry for enforcing rules. 

‘Parents should not apologize for maintaining appropriate boundaries and household expectations,’ Dr. Hartman warned.

‘This includes house rules like limiting screen time, requiring participation in family meals, or maintaining bedtimes,’ she listed. ‘Apologizing for necessary parenting decisions can undermine parental authority and confuse children about appropriate limits.’

Hannah Keeley, Master Board-Certified Life Coach, also told the Daily Mail that children don’t need an ‘apologetic leader’ – they need a confident one.

‘Apologizing for showing up as a parent puts shame where confidence should live,’ she declared. 

‘Parents should not apologize for maintaining appropriate boundaries and household expectations,’ Dr. Hartman warned

The parenting expert reminded parents that making mistakes is part of life. 

‘Always apologizing is modeling instability and insecurity for your children,’ she warned. ‘Every “sorry” you hand over chips away at your authority. 

‘Don’t hand your kids a reason to doubt your strength – hand them the security of knowing you’ve got this.’

Keeley added that children learn confidence from watching their parents and how they move about the world.

‘Apology has its place, but not when it becomes a lifestyle,’ she shared. ‘Moms don’t need to be sorry for messy houses, tired eyes, or takeout dinners. They need to be celebrated for showing up.’

‘Stop apologizing for being human. Start celebrating that you’re raising humans. There’s a big difference,’ she said.